Marti 01

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Babes

Marti 01

Hi, I’m Marti and I drive for a prepared food delivery company and I play by the rules, which are quite clear. Drop the bags or containers off on the porch or other designated location, hit the doorbell or rap on the door and reply via the App and be on my way. I mean, other than getting the order correct, it’s like a three steps process, right?

And nowhere in any of those steps does it say that any of the customers should study the clock to figure out when a food delivery person should come trotting up the sidewalk so they could personally greet the delivery person. Well, except for a few guys who think that I have crossdressing down pat and they like what they see, I suppose.

And I purposely didn’t use the word “fags” where I said “guys” just above because I do have a special delivery outfit that I wear and it just so happens to be prefect for “trotting” in and maybe it’s a little too tight and maybe it’s a little too, um, risqué and maybe after trotting up a few sidewalks it pulls and lifts and maybe there is absolutely no question of what type of undies I wear, so maybe, just maybe, some of these “guys” weren’t “fags’ before I came along.

Oh, and it’s not all guys either. I mean, I might talk about Mrs. Neverland later, um, yea, um, that’s for later then, I suppose.

Anyways, my “trotting” delivery outfit may have been inspired by a pro with a name that sounds a lot like leaky and her (her???) pizza photo shoot and maybe updated based on the anime commissioned set, but I thought it was hot and it was certainly something that I had the body for, so that’s where all that came from.

And speaking of my body, I mean, come on, I always snatch a few of the Cheese Fries every time I smell them or know that they are included in the order, so where is the round ass then? I mean, I want a sand bucket, not a sand pail, so!

But as I was saying, the hours work for me, the mix of sun light and dusk works for me and best of all, there is no “shop” to report to. I mean, there is a regional office nearby, but I only have to report there when there are complements or when the regional manager wants to day dream about a few things. But that’s alright. I use him to figure out the horny faggot side of the middle-aged man brain and he, well, I’m sure that he does stuff after our meetings.

And I’m not saying that I’m sure that he does stuff after I leave because I have returned quickly and claiming that I forgot to use the restroom once or twice. But I am saying that the horny faggot side of the middle-aged man brain has needs too, which is Mr. Jenkins’ business, so.

“Oh, oops, Marti, I mean, I’m glad that you popped back into the office without advance notice or warning, so, stop that, but listen, any and all tips above what’s electronically submitted are not against the company policy, but it’s not a contest either, so lighten up a little on our local website then, alright? I mean, Corporate has access and all, so?”

“Alright, Mr. Jenkins, but it was just one sports bra stuffed with my paper selfie, but I’ll back it down a bit then. I mean, should I just delete my photo folders from the computer system then, Mr. Jenkins?”

“Oh, oh, let’s not be rash about things then, Marti, just bring it down a bit, as you just said, so.”

LOL, yeah, right, right? Clean it up where Corporate can see, but you know, keep updating your personal company folders all day, all night and all afternoon, LOL. Which I was happy to do, but all PG-17. Well, plus a few PGs, but my folders are password protected, so.

Anyways, it was his bad that his “man problem” clouded his thoughts during our meeting. I mean, he usually threw in something about the company policy that states how “side tips are fine, but waiting for them is not appropriate” and other corporate blah, blah, blah rules, so.

“Oh, and before I forget, Marti, you’re not a standard delivery person, like a pizza delivery person, so rap on the door, drop the food order and leave as opposed to tapping your foot and waiting, so????”

I mean, in my head, LOL, I responded with “fuck that”, but I stayed silent because I figured out how to use the App to announce my arrival in “one minute”, so.

“Well, I’m a committed employee, Mr. Jenkins, so, sir, yes, sir, I’ll only flirt my way into a big fat side tip if and when I’m caught making my drop offs, so, sir, yes, sir. Anyways, I know I interrupted something defne escort when I popped back in unexpectantly, so I’ll let you get back to massaging your big fat side tip in the restroom, but listen, I mean, is there a firm company policy against a driver and a manager hugging it out as we end our meetings then? I mean, if we’re going to abide by the policies and all, so?”

“Oh, oh, let’s not be rash about things then, Marti, I mean, it’s our regional meeting so?”

[Hug it out, oops]

“[Mwah] bye boss and you can stop asking me if I’m attending our holiday party because I am, but watch the policy of getting me drunk.”

I mean, yea, that was a terrible way to leave him and LOL, I certainly hoped that his wife would just pop into the office as a surprise visit, but the meeting was over and I had deliveries to pick up and then drop off.

[Ping]

“Meeting over Millie.”

[Ping]

“Thanks Marti.”

Also, Mr. Jenkins’ wife, Millie, insists that I text her when my regional one on one meetings are over. And she’s hot, so I don’t what his problem with getting it up at home is all about. Other than he turned forty and went fag.

Anyways, getting back on track, whoever came up with this business model and its electronic fund payment system is a genius! The only bulge I carry around is my personal bulge and not from having to carry around a bunch of coin to make change. The pockets in front and behind my sand pail are smooth. I mean, my sports bra gets a little padded, but that actually works in my favor, so.

And in conclusion, maybe my company doesn’t have a “food shop” to work out of, whoa, I pick up from every food shop and restaurant in town, right? I mean, social media is the master for networking for sure, but bouncing in and out of literally every eatery in town follows right behind that, right?

But more on that later, LOL because that’s just for socializing and not for big fat side tips.

[Ping]

“One minute.”

Again, totally not against or even addressed in the book of company policies.

“Well, is it bad that I just refer to you as Jack now, Jack? Also, you’re going to get fat with all these drop offs, so.”

“I like how you call me Jack, Marti. It’s a testament that we’ve become closer. I’m also testifying that it wouldn’t kill either of us if you dropped your pants for me, you know, so we can get even closer. Also, are those stretchy pants painted on? They never seemed to be, um, um, pulled all the way up then?”

LOL, Hollywood body adhesive strips, but body painting was a thought. NOT.

“It’s just a look Jack. Anyways, and I say this in a kind way, but I’m not looking for a boyfriend and you’re too old for me, so?”

“I’m 28! And I only need to swallow a blue pill when, well, whenever I’m going to have sex! Or whack off, if the truth be told, so?”

Oops, I mean, I guess that’s what all that “carry out” food does to a person then. But I already told him that he was going to get fat, so I did my part, right? Also, I hoped that I don’t look like Jack in 9 years! Not that Jack still isn’t a handsome 28 years old. LOL, who is already on the blue pill.

“One time offer, Jack. Order tomorrow evening at 7:55pm.”

“Oh, done, go on, Marti.”

“Invited two friends over and place three orders, Jack, at 7:55pm.”

“Well, wait, that doesn’t sound so “one on one” then, Marti.”

“It’s the best I can do, Jack, but as my last delivery of the evening, I’ll enter your house and spread out the three meals, so?”

“I mean, that will just highlight to Vic and Sam that I secretly fag for you then, Marti. Jeez.”

“Life sucks sometimes, Jack, but it’s all I can do, so take it or leave it then. LOL, you may stuff my sports bra now. I have other deliveries to pick up and drop off.”

Well, Jack isn’t the worse customer I have and even my “take it or leave it” proposal didn’t stop him from padding my sports bra, so.

Also, I mean, women’s sports bras are actually very comforting and more men, straight or other, should just give one a try. They conceal under a shirt better than you might think, just as long as you’re careful with your style selection, so, I’m just throwing that out there.

But back on the job, right? And right into the jaws of Maria at the Peaceful Place restaurant for my next pickup order. Maria is cool. Um, Maria is a proud, um, full figured demetevler escort girl????? With a bra measurement that matches her hips measurements, which she carries very well, by the way.

“These guys are younger, Marti, so watch with the flirting at the door. I remember them from school and as I remember things, they don’t need a blue pill, so.”

“Thanks for the heads up, Maria. And why are you stapling the bags closed in such a hurry then?”

“Oh, I mean, the Bus Boy and Dishwasher might get into a scuffle if they notice you’re here, you know, twirling your undies straps in your fingers and then this place won’t live up to its name, so.”

LOL, a Peaceful Place with a little side scuffle, huh? I like that. I also like to absent mindedly twirl my undies straps with my fingers, apparently.

“Ah, snap! Stormy? Stormy for school then!

Oh, so the quick bag stapling slows down then?

“Spill it, Marti and I’m a freak, so include all of the juicy details!”

“Snap! I mean, ugh, Stormy always used to poke fun at me for wearing boxer shorts in the shower, so.”

“Which means you “accidently” wore female beach shorts in the shower, which were probably a burnt orange with yellow edging accents, so go on then, Marti.”

“Well, I mean, one day, I thought I would offer an olive branch to smooth things out with him, so.”

“Which means you switched over to female beach shorts that were our school colors and approached him with a dry towel just after his shower, so go on, Marti.”

“I mean, real guys should shower in their boxers anyways, so.”

“Which means that the two of were alone in the shower and his inner fag came out and he stood there and raised his arms so you could dry him off with your olive branch towel and then his olive branch was poking you in the belly as you dried off his torso, so go on Marti.”

“I mean, I didn’t touch him down there or anything, so.”

“Which means you leaped up and landed on his chest and he held you there and somehow, without much wiggling, his olive branch found its way just inside of your fancy beach shorts and that’s when the poking all around really began, so go on, Marti.”

“OMG, are there cameras in the showers then? Anyways, Stormy seemed to know what he was doing or at least what he wanted and it really didn’t hurt or anything, so.”

“Which means his olive branch found a spot, but because your desirable thighs were wrapped around his waist, you couldn’t clamp down to create a tight little spot for his olive branch, so you released one of your skinny little arms from around his neck and reached down to help create a spot for his olive branch to work, but that was barely working, so you released your other arm from his neck and made the best spot you could for him between your two cupped hands and those sand pail cheeks of yours, all without causing either of you any discomfort, which you shouldn’t have worried so much about with how small and light you are, so go on, Marti.”

“I mean, then, after several minutes, it was over, Maria, so.”

“Which means he went all “aargh, aargh, aargh” all up in that tight spot between your hands that were chipping in by forcing his olive branch as deep between your cheeks as possible and then in the end, he planted his olive tree seed all up in there, which soaked your little ass and then you needed a shower and for some reason, it wasn’t a shower of shame, so go on, Marti.”

“Well, I mean, we lip planted afterwards, so.”

“Which means, holy snap, which means you really know how to tell a story, Marti! My nipples are leaking!”

[Applause, scuffle, applause, scuffle]

“Whoa, I didn’t realize that we had an audience, Marti. You better go then. And be nice with Stormy in front of his friends. Calling him out two years later isn’t cool, so.”

Oh, yea, tee, he, it was just two years ago, so let’s go with that then.

[Ding, dong, ding, dong, front door opens]

“Hey, what the hell? You’re supposed to drop, ding and split! You got your tip electronically, so?”

“Um, hi, Stormy, I mean, it’s me, Marti, well, you knew me as Marty, so hi.”

Um, pause for a moment, I guess.

“OMG, OMG, Marty, OMG, Marti, I mean, what’s all this then? Did I miss a class or two back in the day? Um, come in, well, um, let me step out, um.”

I mean, if a customer back hand tosses the bags demirözü escort of food after I hand them off, I mean, that’s on them, right?

“Ooh, um, well, huh, um.”

“LOL, I’ll start, Stormy. I graduated and made some improvements, so. You look good, by the way.”

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

“What? Do you think your friends are peeking at us threw the windows then, Stormy?”

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

“You made great improvements then, Marti.”

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

“(LOL, hold please). Oh no, sir, don’t be so rough with me, ouch, I just deliver the food, ouch, I don’t make it, ouch, please sir, ouch, oh.”

[Window curtains shuffle closed again, bad ass buddies giggling overheard]

“Oh, LOL, thanks, not that I’m worried by my rep or anything.”

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, oops, ahh, ahh]

“Whew, wow, Stormy, I mean, oh, I know you want to blow, but I need to go. Company policy and all, so?”

[Mwah, rub, mwah, stroke, smooch, stroke, smack, rub, smack]

“Oh, Stormy, I never.”

[Smack, smooch, rub, rub, rub, smooch, smack]

“Oh, um, whew, company policy and all, so, wow, order this Sunday at 7:55 pm then, Stormy.”

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, oops, oops, oops, front door opens]

“Come on, Stormy, stop bullying the, um, cute delivery girl (???) and let’s eat. I mean, bitch slap, um, her (???) one more time and then let’s get it. The Housewives of Middleton, I mean, the football game is about to start, so.”

“(LOL, I’d take a spanking from you anyways, Stormy, so?)”

[A gentle hand slap then. Um, a playful slap. Um, a couple of rapid smacks?]

“Boo-hoo, sir, boo-hoo and don’t forget to give me a 5-star rating then.”

“Damn, same old Stormy! Still beating on the, um, boys (???) then. What the hell is going on here then?”

“Oh, nothing much, side kick bully Denny, other than Missy Matterson ends up “accidently” giving Mr. Adams a lap dance in the main room and then Cassandra Carter gets busted for drugs and well, the damn Butler actually did it! I mean, the Butler thought he was safe by sexing up Luci Limber in the butt, but she flipped around and the Butler was too busy going all “aargh, aargh, aargh” to notice, so now Luci Limber is pregnant, but claims that the leaked video is a fake, so she still maintains that her limp hubby is the baby daddy, but then that bitchy ass Hillary Hampton flipped over the dining room table while claiming that the sex video is not a fake and she screamed into the camera “just wait to see the skin color in nine months”, but then Gina Gleason threw a food platter and reminded everyone that both Luci Limber and the Butler are both dark skinned, so judging the baby by skin color wasn’t going to prove anything and that’s when that OMG, what a bitch, Trisha Timbers went ahead and, well, Trisha Timbers might be the biggest bitch on the Housewives of Middleton, but the camera crew caught a glimpse of her changing and no matter what you think about Trisha Timbers’ attitude, I mean, she represents, so. Or, oops, spoiler alert seeing how the “new” episode aired last night and tonight is the rerun of that, so oops. Um was I supposed to say “spoiler alert” first then?”

Well, Maria just said that I shouldn’t call out Stormy in front of his friends then. She should have said something about not spoiling things for, ugh, Denny, Disgusting Denny!

“Well, WTF then? I guess I’ll just go inside and eat then, um, weirdo boy-girl, um.”

“Go ahead, Disgusting Denny, eat and enjoy then.”

“Hey, wait a minute! Only one person called me Disgusting Denny then! I mean, everyone else called me Downright Dirty Disgusting Denny, so, whoa, I mean, are you Marty then? The one I used to try to finger, um, my food is getting cold, so, bye.”

Oh, Disgusting Denny tried all the time to slip his hand down the back of my pants, which is one thing, LOL, clearly his thing, but did he really think I enjoyed it? And stop thinking about it because the answer is no and I have no more to say about Disgusting Denny, so.

“Well, your friends are your friends, Stormy, so?”

“Um, I’ll order a more private take out on Sunday then, alright?”

“[Mwah], one condom might be a dinner conversation piece then, stormy [mwah].”

Well, I’m human and yes, people who wear the other clothing are human and besides, I didn’t make any promises. I mean, my dinner conversation could be an argument against it anyways. I mean, my outfit may not argue things that way with how low I wear my stretchy pants, which may be his argument that a condom is required, but that what discussions and meeting are for, so.

End Marti 01

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