Power Chapter Twenty-Five: Whatever Could Go Wrong With That?

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Late in the summer I was sitting in a lounge talking with one of The Twins. She had a great story to tell. Walden, the donkey-schlong guy from my swimming class, had visited the campus to audition for nude modeling and acting. He was asked to sign up for every available slot. He thought he could work fourteen hours a week and still take a full class load. An art student named Sonja posted a naked picture of Walden on her campus profile page and listed which classes he would be working. It appears that none of the girls ever looked at this face as he was actually somewhat homely. By the end of the day there were Four hundred ninety-six replies to the post, most from girls but a surprising number from guys whose notes were dripping with testosterone and lust. The replies were quite explicit about what the students wanted to alsancak escort do with Walden’s naked body. Sonja invited everyone to her dorm to meet Walden in person. She forgot to ask the Senior Resident. The dorm was mobbed. The Twin got there early and joined Sonja and a naked Walden on a couch. They took turns trying to deep throat him to no avail. Walden didn’t have to do a thing, just lay back and let women focus on his popsicle. Within half an hour more than a dozen women gave his popsicle a lickin’; it was still tickin’. Some of the guys were jockeying for position to take a turn. Until the Senior Resident walked in and ordered them all out. Walden was buried in writhing female flesh. Tongues that couldn’t reach his piston were satisfying himself with whatever parts of his body they alsancak escort bayan could reach. That’s when a very tiny, very white, and very loud woman of about twenty walked in. “Walden, get your black ass over here!” The woman’s shout could be heard in three time zones. Walden got his black ass over to her. “You mother-fucker,” she started. “I saw that profile page and read it. Apparently every white chick and half of the guys on campus want your dick. It ain’t gonna happen! I’m the only white chick who gets to use your dick. Do you understand me scumbag?” Evidently Scumbag understood. The woman, Walden’s girlfriend, grabbed him by the nuts and walked him naked out of the dorm and straight to her truck. Walden got in, then his girlfriend turned to address the throng that had Escort alsancak followed them. “If any one of you god-damned mother-fucking son-of-a-bitching cock-sucking asshole-licking camel-pubic-hair-eating bastards so much as lays a finger on my Walden you will wish you had never been born.” With that she got in the truck. As she drove away, one of the throng pointed to a gun rack in the back window; it held a shotgun capable of firing small nuclear weapons. Nobody laid a finger on him, and the Art and Theater Departments were left with huge holes in their schedules. They called Miss Carmichael of swimming class fame. She was the only person on campus guaranteed to have seen every penis. Expectations had been raised by Walden’s picture. She had two words for them: Daryl Bowdain. Trixie (she said she was Trixie) told me that in her dorm that speech by Walden’s girlfriend (god-damned mother-fucking etc) had been shortened to “camel.” Now, whenever a girl wanted to insult someone, she just pointed a finger and said, “Camel.” That got the message across. While we were laughing Mike came in wearing his formal outfit, white boxers.

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