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Waking up the next day felt like waking up from a strange dream. For a few moments as I lay there, my head pillowed against my arm, it was as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. But something had changed indefinably.

I opened my eyes and got up and stretched. My fingers brushed against my thigh and I was reminded of my dream last night, and my startling revelation. I ran my hand down the side of my leg, feeling my soft skin from my freshly shaven legs from the night before, smooth against my palm. Suddenly, I was seized with a sudden desire to touch myself, not necessarily in an inherently sexual way, but sensually.

I slid my shorts down and tossed them lightly aside onto the coverlet and then wriggled out of my satin tank top. Now I was just wearing a pair of cotton panties. I slid them off deliberately and then lay back, basking in the pleasure of lying fully nude on my bed.

The morning sun illuminated my pale skin, making me look vaguely sun-kissed instead of pasty. I examined myself. I had always been told I had a nice body, I’d been complimented on my looks ever since I was a teenager by multiple highly appreciative boyfriends, but somehow I’d never quite be able to believe them. I’d always felt a little detached from my body, and vaguely self-conscious. The boys had been complimentary towards me but the girls in high school in particular had been less kind. I’d often been made to feel I was too skinny. I’d sometimes pinched my absent hips in frustration in eleventh grade, wondering what I could do to have the enviable curves so many of my friends seemed to have naturally. Thankfully, in college more by luck than anything else, I finished filling out and clothes fit in all the places I’d longed for them to.

I sat up in bed and then padded over to the floor-length mirror propped on the opposite wall. I put my hands on my hips and felt them appreciatively, running my hand in the little space between where they met my thighs. I reached up a hand and cupped my breasts, turning this way and that, pinching my little, pink, nipples until they perked up. I couldn’t help my mind though from inevitably straying to Cara’s from yesterday, imagining how the weight of them would feel in my hands, how soft and swollen her nipples would be, how much I wanted to take them each in my mouth, one at a time, and suck them…A shudder of pleasure went through me. Cara did have gorgeous C-cup breasts though I thought reasonably, it was normal I’d be attracted to them.

Normal for a lesbian my inner voice teased.

I sighed. There was that word again. Lesbian. Gay. It was something I couldn’t afford to just push away again and not confront. Honestly, the more I thought about it the more I began to realize it was probably true. The way I was topkapı escort feeling right now thinking about Cara paled in comparison to how I’d felt about any of my boyfriends. I just hadn’t been all that attracted to them. I mean, I thought I had, but as the relationship went on it would inevitably begin to feel more like I was dating a hot mannequin. Exceedingly attractive? Maybe. But my emotions weren’t engaged the same way. It felt…empty. With Cara it was completely different. I’d only met her once and I was one-hundred percent engaged. I’d been drawn in by the way the corner of her mouth crinkled up when she smiled, the way her eyes were bluer than the sea on a balmy day, the subtle scent of sweat mixed with the faintness of her perfume…She was so beautiful.

I could already start to feel a slow trickle of cum coursing down my thigh. I ran my hand down and tangled my fingers in my neatly trimmed pubic hair, feeling for my clit and groaned. God it felt so fucking good. I’d never been this consistently horny for so long.

But I was jerked back again into reality by the thought of what I was going to do.

What was I going to do? What did people do in these circumstances? I mean, the normal thing most people did in cases like this was come out. But how? And did I need to? The idea suddenly seemed rather daunting. I wasn’t worried about my family, I figured they’d be accepting. They never seem overly concerned about that kind of stuff, after all, I did have a lesbian cousin who’d been married to her partner for the last eight years and they’d never had anything but nice things to say about her. As for my grandmother, I felt sure in my heart she would have approved. A tear threatened to fall when I thought about her. I wish I’d been able to tell her.

I’m sorry granny I thought to myself. I didn’t know.

As for my co-workers? Well I wasn’t so sure about them but that was because I didn’t really know them. I had established myself as kind of a loner at work; I’d only tagged along on one or two group nights out back when I first started out, but after that I’d stopped going. I always felt a little out of place and never really knew what to talk about. I preferred I found to spend my evenings in, at home with Maisie. But I’m sure it would come out eventually I thought to myself, especially if I started dating…and I was ashamed to admit I already had someone in mind.

***

Later that night on my way home from work I stopped in at my favorite Chinese place for take-away and practically skipped all the way home anticipating the delicious taste of kung pao chicken and vegetable lo mein. After chowing down straight from the carton, I settled on the couch with Maisie. I stroked her ears and she let out a low whimper and licked my fatih escort face.

“Sweet girl,” I murmured.

My eyes glanced over towards my phone where I had lain it on the coffee table. I considered calling my parents but somehow the idea still seemed a little scary. Then I had a brilliant idea. I picked up the phone and dialed the number. It rang for a few minutes before she picked up.

“Hey there! Liz? It’s me, Sadie, do you have a few to talk?”

“Yeah, of course sis! What’s up?”

There was a long pause on my end as I fumbled for words. “Liz, this is kinda serious, are you sitting down?” I said at last.

“Yeah, sure.” Liz, replied and I could hear the concern in her voice. “Is everything alright?”

I massaged my forehead with my fingers. “I don’t know how to say this Liz,” I said, “but, I think I’m…

“What?” Liz pressed gently.

“Liz, I think I’m a lesbian.” I said quietly.

For a moment there was total silence and then all I could hear was hysterical laughter.

“Hey why are you laughing?” I said,

“I’m sorry, Sadie!” Liz said trying to regain control of herself. I’m really sorry, but oh God I already knew you were gay! God you scared me for a minute there, I thought you were going to tell me you had cancer or something! God I’m so relieved.”

I suddenly felt like whatever had been constricting my lungs had finally let go. I felt instantly lighter.

I laughed. “Oh My god! You knew!” I exclaimed so loudly I startled Maisie, causing her to jump off the couch and bark three times loudly.

“No, Maisie, it’s okay, shhhh, it’s alright girl. But seriously,” I said into the phone, “Liz how did you know?”

“Honestly? I’ve kinda suspected since your freshman year of college. You were totally obsessed with your roommate, anybody could see it, and all those guys you dated, well, I mean, honestly sis, they were all kinda the same and you seemed to have as much interest in being with them as watching paint dry. I just never saw you get all worked up over a guy or get super attached like all of my friends and yours did. It’s like once the initial shine wore off you got bored and not just because the guy wasn’t the right one. I started to figure out pretty quickly from there that maybe the men weren’t the problem. Maybe it was the fact that you just weren’t into men at all.”

A huge breath I didn’t know I’d been holding finally released itself from my body.

I already knew that on some level, everything would be okay, but hearing Liz say it, hearing Liz confirm all the things I’d suspected and validate them? It felt really good.

“I’m so glad you’ve accepted this about yourself though sis,” Liz said. “I’m proud of you. Have you told mom and dad yet?”

“Not eyüp escort yet,” I said.

“Well, you should. They would want to know. And sis, you know they’ll be totally cool with this right? It’s all going to be okay.”

I smiled through the tears that were starting to roll down my cheeks.

“Thanks, Liz that really means a lot. I’ll call them now I think.”

“Good idea, Liz said. And remember, I’m proud of you. But hey, wait, I forgot to ask, who’s your special lady that has triggered these feelings?”

I smiled and sighed in mock exasperation. Liz knew everything!

“As it so happens there actually is. But she’s not my special lady yet. I don’t even know if she’s single. Heck I don’t even know for certain she’s gay. But I’m pretty sure she is. She was flirting with me in the park.”

“Omg wow! Liz exclaimed! I’m so happy for you Sadie! I bet she’s gorgeous. Be sure to ask her if she has a handsome brother hidden away somewhere.”

I laughed harder that time. “Okay, I hear you, Liz loud and clear! But I should probably go. I want to call mom and dad before it gets too late or before I lose my nerve.”

“Go get ’em tiger!” Liz said encouragingly as she hit the end call button.

I dialed in my parent’s number and my mom picked up.

“Hey, mom, is dad there? Do you guys have a minute, I kinda have something I want to say to you guys?” I said

“Of course honey, no problem, one second.”

There was a pause.

“Okay honey, I put it on speaker phone.”

“Hi honey! My dad said.

“Hi dad,” I am glad you guys are both here. I actually just got off the phone with Liz because I wanted to tell you guys myself and you know how she tends to spill the beans.”

Mom laughed. “What is it you wanted to tell us darling?”

“Well, I think I figured something out yesterday. I’m gay.”

Neither of them missed a beat.

“Honey that’s wonderful, I’m so glad you were able to figure this out. You know we just want you to be happy, right?”

My heart soared with happiness.

“I do. Thank you guys so much for being so supportive.”

“It’s no trouble at all honey, you’re our daughter. Are you seeing anyone special?” Dad asked.

“Actually I’m not. At least not yet. There’s this woman I’m interested in, but she doesn’t know I like her yet, at least I don’t think she does.”

“Well, any woman would be lucky to have you in her life honey. I’m sure it will work out.”

“Thanks guys, I hope so. She actually asked me to meet her somewhere next week, so we’ll see how it goes. I’m actually pretty excited.”

“That’s awesome honey! Well, have fun, and be safe. Let us know how it goes and be sure to call if you need anything. We love you!”

“Love you too!” I said, and clicked the phone off.

I picked Maisie up off the floor and squeezed her tight.

“Well, three down already,” I said happily, burying my face in her fur. “Maybe this whole coming out thing won’t be so bad after all.”

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